Battle of the Golden Statues 2018: Golden Globes

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Hello and welcome to the 2018 Battle of the Golden Statues. Two geeks enter, but only one can leave with the prize. For those of you new to our annual competition, allow me to set the stage.

Each year, when awards season rolls around, fellow writer, Kait Calabro, and I throw down the gauntlet in a battle to see who can guess the largest number of winners during three of the biggest televised award shows. Our contest spans three awards: The Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, and The Oscars. Whoever can guess the largest number gets to take home the incredible plastic Oscar we bought in Hollywood that one time a few years ago. It’s all very official and fancy.

Tonight, the contest begins anew and we shall see if I can keep my winning streak alive. So far, Kait has never bested me, and with each passing year it becomes more important that I keep my position. So, shall we get to tonight’s picks?


Film

Best Motion Picture – Drama
Kait: The Shape of Water – Star-crossed lovers mixed with visually stimulating elements of science-fiction and whimsy sounds like gold to me.
Tricia: Dunkirk – If there’s an Oscar frontrunner this early in the game, it’s probably The Post, but I’m gonna give this to Christopher Nolan’s WWII epic.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
Kait: Timothée Chalamet, Call Me by Your Name – Breakout performance of the year.
Tricia: Timothée Chalamet, Call Me by Your Name – An incredible performance in a wonderful movie and if CMBYN is gonna win anything, it’s far more likely to take home statues for its performances.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Kait: Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri – McDormand delivers a chilling and vibrant performance worth recognizing.
Tricia: Meryl Streep, The Post – My understanding is that this is another powerhouse performance by Streep, though you could say that about most of the nominees.
Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Kait: Lady Bird – Though this one may go to I, Tonya, Lady Bird was everything I could have ever hoped for in a coming-of-age film. The film is my favorite of the year and awakened memories I had as a teenager with my mother. I dress scene could have literally be ripped out of my journal.
Tricia: Lady Bird – This movie is a critical darling, and for good reason. While I’d love to see Get Out win like crazy, I think Lady Bird definitely has the edge.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Kait: James Franco, The Disaster Artist – Franco’s performance in The Disaster Artist is a seamless depiction of Tommy with the most memorable parts being the glimpse of vulnerability and desire to be loved.
Tricia: Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out – It’s a shame that this movie is in the Comedy/Musical category, but maybe that will give Kaluuya the leg up on his fellow nominees.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Kait: Margot Robbie, I, Tonya – Though I would love for Saoirse Ronan to win for Lady Bird, Robbie is dazzling in I, Tonya for all the right reasons!
Tricia: Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird – I would say the only thing more probable than Lady Bird taking home the big award is Ronan taking her own category.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture
Kait: Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri – Feels right.
Tricia: Christopher Plummer, All the Money in the World – I want this to go to Armie Hammer, but Plummer did an incredible thing jumping into a completed film to fit seamlessly into a role he did not originally play.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture
Kait: Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird – Moms matter too. I will be over the moon if wither Metcalf or Allison Janney win but I truly believe that Metcalf hits this performance out of the part.
Tricia: Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird – I have honestly no idea about this category, but Metcalf seems like the best option. This movie is about the relationship between the mother and daughter and required great performances from both actresses.
Best Director – Motion Picture
Kait: Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water – He made a pretty film.
Tricia: Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk – This is a huge toss up for me because so many of these directors could get it for various reasons. Speilberg made The Post in just nine months, Del Toro did some incredibly pretty things with Shape of Water, and Ridley Scott completely replaced one of his actors in record time. But I’m gonna go with my Best Picture, Drama winner.
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Kait: Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird – Gerwig’s script screams out and we are all listening.
Tricia: Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird – YUP
Best Original Score – Motion Picture
Kait: Hans Zimmer, Dunkirk – DUH!
Tricia: Hans Zimmer, Dunkirk – What she said.
Best Original Song – Motion Picture
Kait: “Remember Me,” Coco – Feels right.
Tricia: “This is Me,” The Greatest Showman – It’s probably gonna be Coco, but the songs from Circus Musical were just so great and they’ve been stuck in my head for weeks so I had to go with my gut. Plus, who doesn’t love Keala Settle? No one. That’s who.
Best Animated Feature Film
Kait: Coco – DUH!
Tricia: Coco – Can I pick this more than once?
Best Foreign-Language Film
Kait: First They Killed My Father – Going with the safe choice for this one but I would love for it to go to The Square.
Tricia: First They Killed My Father – It’s the safe bet. It’s also the only one I’ve actually heard of.

Television 

Best Television Series – Drama
Kait: The Handmaid’s Tale – Though I try not to bet against Game of Thrones, it seems like picking rebellious women is a good choice nowadays!
Tricia: The Handmaid’s Tale – It would be a fitting win, especially given the headlines of the last few months. Doesn’t hurt that it’s a great show.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama
Kait: Jason Bateman, Ozark – I literally have no clue but yea sure!
Tricia: Sterling K. Brown, This is Us – I don’t feel strongly about any of these, but Brown is the performance everyone has been talking about.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama
Kait: Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid’s Tale – This just feels right as well! Though fingers crossed for Caitriona Balfe.
Tricia: Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid’s Tale – This show was anchored by Moss’ performance as Offred. It only makes sense.
Best Television Series – Comedy or Musical
Kait: SMILF – Funny, realistic, and Frankie Shaw is delightful!
Tricia: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel – Because I honestly don’t know which to pick.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Comedy or Musical
Kait: Aziz Ansari, Master of None – Sure, why not?
Tricia: Eric McCormack, Will & Grace – Again, I have no strong feelings, but I could see McCormack winning because he never has and nowo they’ve got another chance.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Comedy or Musical
Kait: Alison Brie, GLOW – I pick Brie though Rachel Brosnahan may win this one. GLOW is a real treat and Brie is the star!
Tricia: Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel – If I’m right about the series winning, then I’m even more confident in this pick, but the Globes like an ingenue.
Best Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Kait: Big Little Lies – DUH!
Tricia: Big Little Lies – It’s between this and Feud if you ask me, but I’ve heard much more positive buzz for Big Little Lies.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Kait: Robert De Niro, The Wizard of Lies – Sure, why not.
Tricia: Geoffery Rush, Genius – EINSTEIN!
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Kait: Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies – DUH! I mean have you watched the show?
Tricia: Reese Witherspoon, Big Little Lies – Because I have not watched the show and I want to be different.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Kait: Alexander Skarsgård, Big Little Lies – Skarsgård should win this one but I would LOVE to see David Harbour surprise everyone!
Tricia: Alexander Skarsgård, Big Little Lies – My lack of strong feelings continues.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Kait: Laura Dern, Big Little Lies  – Never bet against Dern, never!
Tricia: Laura Dern, Big Little Lies  – I don’t feel as strongly as Kait, but let’s just give everything to this show. Why not?
Tricia Ennis

Tricia Ennis

Tricia is the owner and editor of this website, but it's not like she's holding that over anyone's head or anything. Lover of cats, comics, television, and the occasional horror comedy. Find other thoughts and absurdities on Twitter, and her personal blog. Fully expects to die brilliantly in the zombie apocalypse.
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