Kait & Monica’s Top 14 Bad Geeky Couples

In honor of the most ridiculous holiday in the whole wide world (that is of course my personal opinion), Valentines Day, Staff Writer Monica and I composed two different Top 14 lists.  One to honor the beauty of true Geeky love and the other to scare cupids arrow out of your ass as you run for the hills.

The first list and the one you are currently reading is our Top 14 Bad Geeky Couples - they range from bad matches to bad results, and from creepy to downright evil. No matter their stories these love connections are sure to make even the most bitterly single lad or lady happy to sit at home watching re-runs of Firefly rather than spending the holiday wrapped up in these fatal attractions. The pairs on this list are in no proper order because I think we can all argue that each one can be number 1.

So with out any more delay here is Kait & Monica’s Top 14 Bad Geeky Couples…

Gollum and the Ring (The Lord of Ring Series)

Gollum was once a hobbit named Smeagol that lived in the fields. But one day, he met the Ring and changed into a slimy, nerve addled creature that developed a tic that caused him to make a horrible swallowing noise in his throat. Any relationship that causes that much change is not worth it. (Monica)

Renesmee Cullen and Jacob Black (The Twilight Saga:Breaking Dawn)

Of course we wanted an happy ending for the broken hearted werewolf, Jacob Black, but did you ever think it would be with the offspring of Bella and Edward (who the hell would have thought they could have offspring?).  Imprinting is an odd concept and these two are an odd couple. (Kait)

Harley Quinn and Joker (DC Comics)

Their love is dangerous for not only them but anyone they come in contact with. The Joker is beyond deranged and sadly Harley Quinn is blindly in love with him to the point that she will help him carry out any plan he cooks up. (Monica)

Bellatrix and Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter Series)

Bellatrix only has eyes for her master, the Dark Lord. She was loyal, she killed people for him, and even had a stint in Azkaban as she waited for him. But what did Voldemort ever do for her? Diddly squat because he was to obsessed with killing a teenage boy. (Monica)

Cersei and Jamie Lannister (The Game of Thrones Series)

They say that blood is thicker then water.  These two twins can barely keep their hands off each other.  Not only is there romantic relationship gross and wrong but they are just simply a wicked pair.  They lie, cheat, and kill anything or anyone that gets in the way of their “love”. (Kait)

Hadley and The Merman (Cabin In the Woods) 

First, Nerds if you have not seen Cabin In the Woods (Geek God, Joss Whedon co wrote it) do it now!  Talk about a bad romance.  All Hadley ever wanted was to see this wicked merman in action and when he finally got the chance to see the half fish half man it was coming after him…hearts broken, you just can’t love a beast! (Kait)

Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd (The Power Rangers-90s edition)

You know things are bad when you have to concoct a love potion to get a man to marry you. But surprisingly enough the marriage lasted even after Lord Zedd took the antidote. The pair had a son despite never accomplishing their man goal of defeating those pesky Power Rangers. (Monica)

Regina (The Evil Queen) and Graham (The Huntsman) (Once Upon a Time)

She ripped out his heart and crushed it just like that.  How dare her most loyal “Sheriff” betray herm but why is she so surprised? He had done it before when he would not take another’s heart.  For this couple, opposites do not attract, once Graham, aka The Huntsman, got a taste of good (and his memory back) he would not help Regina anymore.  Bad may have crushed this good guy but it is said good always wins. (Kait)

Isaac Clarke and Nicole (Dead Space)

What do you do when your girlfriend is one of the few survivors on a starship massacred by necromorphs? Kill them all and save her. What do you do when said girlfriend is just an alien vision wanting you to unify the universe through death? Kill her and kill her again just to make sure. (Monica)

Johnny and Lisa (The Room)

Lisa wants it all. Johnny just wants to be happy and say hi to Mark. But Lisa is a sociopath and Johnny is super emotional because Lisa is tearing him apart. (Monica)

Klaus and Stefan Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries)

Okay these two might not be your “conventional” couple but when the two pair up that are bloody dangerous. Klaus and Stefan have a long history of getting together and forgetting all about humanity and just ripping up the place. (Kait)

Sookie Stackhouse and Alcide Herveaux (The Sookie Stackhouse Series – HBO’s True Blood)

In a world without vampires they may have just been perfect for each other.  She’s got a thing for dead guys and he has a thing for werewolves that like V and what we are left with is what could have been.  Oh and that almost sex scene that got interrupted by her two ex-vampire boyfriends and her throwing up on Alcide…good TV! (Kait)

Thanos and Mistress Death (Marvel Comics)
 

Whenever someone says Thanos is obsessed with death, they don’t mean he likes killing people. It’s because he is actually in love with the entity Death. All the crazy things Thanos does are just to impress her. The pair have a twisted yet oddly romantic relationship. (Monica)

Belle and Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)

You did not think we would go a whole list without mention one Disney couple.  Though they were only engaged for a brief moment this couple may have produced beautiful offspring but they could not have been more wrong for each other.  Belle was not a fan of drinking in taverns or hunting and Gaston thought looks where more important then knowledge. (Kait)

Well there you have lovers of geeky stuff! Kait & Monica’s Top 14 Bad Geeky Couples!

What do you think of our picks?  Are we missing any rotten couples?

From The Single Chicks here at AGtM we wish you a very Happy Single Awareness Day aka SAD! 

“Let Them Eat Cake”